It should be pretty obvious that I am no professional blogger. Not yet, anyway. I have to admit from the start that it sounds like an attractive avenue for me, now that I am a mom and all. Now that my original career plans have been laid aside. It's taken me many years to even consider starting a blog, even though writing and journaling have been powerful tools in my personal evolution. But blogging? That's just scary.
For starters, there are privacy issues. How much of my personal information is safe to put out there for anyone to read? Isn't it risky to share too much, making yourself a target for hackers? I wonder if bloggers have higher rates of identity theft than other people. Or, perhaps their rates are lower because they are even more cautious. Then there are cyber stalkers, my favorite internet phobia. Maybe I've seen too many crime dramas about serial killers and psychopaths, but you have to admit these people are out there. And what better target than a mom blogger, sharing information about her children, habits, opinions and values. From my meager research of mom blogs, I've seen the gamut from full disclosure to very discreet. I will definitely err on the side of discreet. I'm not even sure I want to share my real name, much less the identity of my child.
The issue of anonymity is at the crux of my fears around blogging. Journaling has been a tool for personal transformation, healing, and growth. The subject matter of my journals are deeply personal and private. I have rarely shared my writing openly, save for a few close friends. Becoming a mother is perhaps one of life's greatest transformations, so again I am compelled to write my way through it. But blogging is not journaling, even though you will find many blogs out there that function as diaries. I suppose in some ways, I want this blog to serve that function. Truthfully, though, it may be not be appropriate. Some reflections are best kept private. Some revelations are silent. It will be challenging to curb my desire to write for myself with my desire to share my thoughts with others. I am afraid of crossing the line and sharing too much. Or sharing too little and coming across as didactic and condescending.
And that's a valid fear when I consider that a huge motivator for starting this blog is to share information with others. My hope is that I can provide some comfort and community to others on a parallel journey. Ultimately, though, I hope I can inform and educate. I read a lot. I think a lot. I critique and analyze. I am no expert or "PhD in Parenting" (insert link), but I know I have some valuable insights and information to share. I think I can make a real difference by sharing my parenting experiences with others -- my mistakes and my successes. I think I can help myself and others become better parents, better human beings. Blogging is a way to accomplish this lofty goal.
I suppose the best way to resolve my desires with my fears is to keep my blog-self anonymous, at least until I feel safe in this new arena. At least until I can find my blog voice, the one that dances elegantly between journaling and educating.
And now, press "publish post". Phew!